Do you ever feel like you're in the deep end of a swimming pool, taking the swim test, and asked by the lifeguard to tread water? Only the 1 minute they ask of you to tread water last days and days. You think to yourself, "My legs and arms are tired, how do I keep going?" While trying to stay afloat, the world seems to whirl by.
In all the business of life, I find myself craving deep friendships. Why are we all too busy for each other? While I understand it is just a season of life, I wish it wasn't so. More and more I am saddened by growing up, not simply because it is good-bye to childhood, but because some friendships will never be the same. Once a season passes, it may never come again. I am reminded of the quote “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” As these friendships change, I find myself asking God, so what's next?
Recently I had to make a really difficult phone call. It completely shook me up. (This was a "O my goodness, when did I become an adult moment?") I wondered why God had placed me in this situation that I felt completely unprepared for. And again asked, so what's next?
I know that I am not supposed to worry about tomorrow because it has enough worries of its own, but at the beginning of each week my heart wilts a bit at the thought of the worrisome situations I will have to encounter in the next seven days. I can't help, but think to a year from now and gulp, where will I be? What will I be doing? Will the journey there be rough or smooth? God, what's next for my life?
I often wonder if a heart can break too many times, it can't be put back together. (I understand hearts are not like humpty dumpty) And I often wonder why a healing heart hurts. However, I do know that God is faithful and He is in the heart healing business and does know what's next for my life even if I don't.
Psalm 23
