2011

I have been in deep reflection the last few days and have discovered a few things. We often focus on negative things in life, thinking that when we share the negatives we are creating real depth. In the mean time our lives become negatively focused and it becomes easy to lose sight of all the positives that life has to offer. I suppose it's a bit of a resolution for me, but I am seeking to find one thing to  be thankful for daily as to avoid becoming negative and bitter. Today I am thankful for the students in my class. 

I realized something as I observed and interacted with my students, they are not afraid to express themselves. One little boy was standing next to me in line and looked up at me "Can you please walk right by me because I'm scared?" Sometimes in life I often feel that way, wishing I could turn to the nearest person and say "Will you hold my hand as we walk, my current life situation has me feeling scared?" I'm not sure how that would go over, but I know that security would be comforting. Interestingly enough, I've felt that way a lot lately. While needing that comfort, also reacting similar to a little girl in my class who seemed to keep every other student at a distance today because it was just a rough one for her. There was a third student that I really related to today. This little boy approached me at the end of the day. "Miss Field, my tummy hurts." In between tears and hyperventilating breaths he expressed to me his discomfort. I tried to offer him some solutions, none of which he latched onto. After a few minutes he returned to his desk. It seems he just needed someone to know that he was hurting. I get that. As adults, it's easier to pretend like everything is okay when it's not. We push people away when we need them the most, we express our feelings of hurt, not for a solution but for a listening ear, and often we crave that feeling of security that someone walking close by our side brings. Yes, I'll be honest I'm feeling all of those things lately. However, I am choosing joy today. And I am thankful for the joy these children bring to my life.